Malayalam cinema is one place where we love our villains just as much as our heroes. Regardless of their 916 chettatharam, they’re pure gold to us. This is why even today, more than Gopalakrishnans and Mahadevans, we treasure our very own Ramji Rao’s and John Honai’s. But like every other industry, we also have had a good share of pointless (mona illatha) villains. So here you go, commemorating a few such pointless villains of Malayalam cinema who deserved a better ending or maybe just a better movie.
Bobby
Cause of death: Chekuthan’s vedham + 3 chest shots
Before you come at me – Bimal Nair was Priyadarshini’s second husband and she didn’t give two fucks about him. Why are you enraged?
If you’re not enraged, you would probably get it when I say that he was brought here all the way from Bollywood for no reason. Hell, he wasn’t even given a chance at standing toe-to-toe against Nedumpally.
Like, give the man some credit. He broke free from being tied to a chair, got into a vicious knife fight, and knocked down the mafia. All of it just for Nedumpally’s boy band to come and nab him and put him on yet another chair. And this time, he didn’t even try breaking free. Nedumpally easily got three shots at the man. It was a pointless build-up for Bobby who used 100% of his brain and still got killed that easily. It wouldn’t even have made much of a difference if they played the movie in reverse with Bobby dying as soon as the credits rolled.
Dr. Alphonse Kurian
Cause of death: Tovino’s crash test
Imagine years of your meticulous planning, kidnapping, and murder all going down the drain because of a mudi. There are villains who have had ¼th of the screen time as that of Alphonse Kurian. And they have still got at least a mudi’de vela.
This one should’ve just stuck to pranking kids with Bluetooth and that would have still made a fun plot. He chose the lesser travelled path and got thrown across worse than every spiderman’s girlfriend ever.
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Daddy Girija
Cause of death: A tiger. (Who am I kidding? It was MR Gopakumar’s storytelling skills)
This man actually sat through a 1-hour story that he knew anyway, just for the thrill of it. I mean what a sweetheart, right? If I could, I would have awarded him the Karshakashri award for his dedicated agrarian activities. Or at least the Daddy of the year award for being #DaddyGoals.
Also, a bird once told me that Daddy Girija was to be cast in one of those mega maha serials along with Chinchude Mummy and Kinginide Uncle titled “How I met your A10“. But luck had it in for Daddy Girija that he got to meet A10 60 minutes into Gopakumar’s storytelling session.
Meera’s Pa
Cause of arrest: Damn Frustration
This was one movie that left the audience as frustrated as the villain.
For those who haven’t watched this gem of a movie, a dude gets murdered and he reveals the killer as “Meera’s Pa” to the smartest police officer in the entirety of Kerala – Monjan Niranjan (played by Prithviraj). Just the luck.
But he thinks that the dying dude used up his last breath to talk about a Meera Spa located somewhere around Kovalam. The rest of the movie cleverly does product placements of Spa’s while the villain Siddique (Meera’s Pa) walks around frustrated on the profound dumbness of the Spa addict monjan niranjan.
Spa 1 – 0 Siddique.
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Shyam Rangan
Cause of death: Jai Hind Market’ile 5 rs pena kathi
Sabu (playing Shyam Rangan) travels all the way to the cultural capital of Kerala to behave like a culture illatha thendi. Other than that, he really didn’t have much to offer as Shyam Rangan, and throughout the movie, it shows on his face which visibly read “Eniky ithinde vala avashyam undayirunno”.
The movie had put forth a very convincing hype before its release. Said to come out in the form of chapters of the pooram such as the kodiyettam and vedikettu, the makers thankfully chose to stick to the climax of the pooram and ended it with one part. Because malappuram kathi, ambum villum, nadan bomb, olakkede moodu ellam kaanichitt, Sabu dies an eventless 30-second death with a pena kathi. Daaaamn, why they do you so dirty Sabu?
Special mention: Malar’s amnesia
This is a pointless petition to remove the worst villain of George’s life and get Malar back.
While I go cry about a better ending for Malar, drop in your thoughts on some of the pointless villains in Malayalam Cinema.
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